


It's Tough Being Sorry

by HonestCannibal



Category: Left 4 Dead 2
Genre: Complaining Nick, Friendship, Gen, Injury, M/M, Slight Character Death, Teamwork, WIP
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-23
Updated: 2015-02-12
Packaged: 2018-02-18 13:50:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2350649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HonestCannibal/pseuds/HonestCannibal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick realizes he needs his team. </p><p>His team realizes they need Nick.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Jockey Hockey

**Author's Note:**

> WIP!  
> I've had this idea for a while now and I've been working on it for ages! This is unBETA'd so if you see any mistakes, lemme know!  
> Enjoy ~

The smell of rotten flesh made Nick grimace, no longer gagging due to being familiar to the horrific smell of the dead. He turned to look around the safe room, turning his nose up at the wall covered in bullet holes and blood, bodies piled on the floor in front of it. It was obvious what had happened, but there was no point thinking about it.

That’s rule #1 in this whole fucked up scenario, _don’t think about it._

“They could’ve cleaned it up.” Nick muttered, running his finger over a table and feeling impressed from the amount of dust that had collected there.

Rochelle stared at him, “seriously?”

Nick turned his head to look at her, eyebrow raising in confusion. “What?”

“All you’ve done is complain the whole journey here.” Rochelle dropped her AK-47 on the floor, letting the thud ring out across the safe room. Coach looked up from what he was occupying himself with and looked at her with a questioning stare.

“I was just-”

“Shut up, Nick! We are in the middle of a goddamn- I don’t even know what this is - and you’re complaining about your suit and your hair and this stupid shithole.” Rochelle yelled, gesturing to the safe room. Her voice was tight and Nick knew she was going to cry. God he hated it when people cried. Especially when he was the one responsible. “All I give a shit about is us getting through this in one piece.”

“And what, you think I don’t?” Nick felt his anger getting the better of him. Yeah, he was a selfish asshole a lot of the time, but he did contribute to the group. He pushed a Hunter off Ellis here and there, rammed a Charger away from Coach- hell, he even smacked Rochelle’s gun out of her hand when she almost shot at a Witch.

Rochelle grit her teeth, “no, I don’t think you do. I don’t even trust you half the time.”

Coach took this chance to step in between both of them, “Shouting at each other isn’t gonna get us anywhere.”

“Pft.” Nick turned away, heading towards his first aid kit that he’d placed on the dusty table moments after they’d arrived. He could hear Coach quietly reassuring Rochelle that Nick was, in fact, a member of the team and wasn’t here to steal their things and kill them.

To hell if he was; there was nothing to steal. A few bandages wasn’t going to get him far. Even though everyone on the team somehow pissed him off in one way or another, he was (secretly) glad he had found them when he did or else he would’ve been dead meat. Literally.

“Hey man, I think you should apologize to Ro.” Ellis whispered, making Nick jump and almost smack the hick in the face.

“Jesus- fuck, Ellis, don’t fucking do that!” Nick hissed, putting a hand on his chest. He thought he’d be used to things jumping out at him but truthfully, it never stops being scary.

“Sorry,” Ellis put his hands up as a sign of peace, “I was just tryn’a keep the peace, y’know? We can’t be arguin’ while killin’ those sons of bitches.”

Nick glared at Ellis long and hard until the kid was visibly uncomfortable. “Nick, yer freakin’ me out a lil’ bit.”

“You’re serious, aren’t you?” Nick narrowed his eyes, leaning on the table behind him. “About me apologizing.”

“Well...Yeah, I guess I am.” Ellis shrugged, taking his hat off and running a hand through his auburn hair.

“I don’t see why I should be sorry, she was the one who-”

“Nick.” Ellis’ strong southern accent was firm, something unfamiliar to Nick’s ears, “please.”

Nick stared at Ellis and Ellis stared straight back. Nick bit his tongue; he hated having to apologize and admit he was wrong. _Goddamn fucking hicks._ He sighed finally, “Fine. Fine, I’ll say sorry. Just...stop staring at me like that, it’s freaking _me_ out.”

A grin spread across Ellis’ face, his eyes softening immediately. “Thanks Nick, ah really appreciate it.”

Nick rolled his eyes with a smirk, “whatever.”

He pushed past Ellis and slowly made his way over to where Rochelle and Coach were chatting quietly. Rochelle looked up from the floor and glared at Nick who raised his hands.

“Ro, I don’t want to argue. It won’t make this situation any easier. We need to...be a team.” He struggled, rubbing the back of his neck, feeling the dry blood from the infected in his hair.

Rochelle and Coach stared at him, no visible expression. Nick sighed, “I guess, what I’m trying to say is...I’m sorry.”

Coach’s lips twitched upwards ever so slightly and Rochelle’s expression seemed to relax.

“It’s fine, Nick.” She patted his shoulder lightly, “this is hard on all of us.”

Nick let himself smile ever so slightly and Coach patted him on the back, “see, that wasn’t so hard, was it?”

“Don’t push your luck.” Nick smirked, letting his ‘too cool’ facade drop entirely.

x~x~x~x~

It was early when they set off again. Ellis decided to let the group know that he could tell the exact time by the way the sky looked. His ‘buddy Keith’ told him how to and then something happened with a goose. Nick wasn’t listening, he was rubbing his hand over his stubble, breathing in the not-so-fresh air of the morning.

“-so then Ma got real mad, and I’m not talkin’ red in the face mad, I mean full blown steam blowin’ out of her ears mad.” Ellis was laughing now, his words even harder to make out because of his chuckling. Then suddenly he stopped.

“Wh-” Rochelle began but Ellis held a hand up and then a finger to his lips.

That was enough to send Nick into a spiral of anxiety. It was every so often, if not at all, that Ellis would become serious. Nothing could stop that kid from laughing, not even a horde of zombies brought on by Boomer vomit.

He looked around, and then his eyes narrowed to a single spot in an alley. Nick followed his vision but failed to see anything. Maybe his eyesight was getting worse.

“Tank.” Ellis whispered, pointing. “We’d better go ‘round.”

Coach nodded and the rest of them turned around, heading back the way they came. Nick sighed, “guys, seriously. We’ve taken on Tanks before.” He whispered, following them.

“I don’t feel like risking my life just after I’ve just had a rough night’s sleep.” Coach replied and put a hand on his stomach, “especially when I’ve had no second breakfast.”

Nick was about to protest again, because hell if he was going to spend longer outside than he should. It was an even bigger risk going around the Tank than it was actually killing the Tank. Before Nick could point this out, Coach patted Ellis on the shoulder, “nice one, kid.”

“One of mah special abilities.” Ellis grinned, “I’m always on the look out.”

“Oh c’mon!” Nick sighed even louder and Rochelle turned to shush him, but the ground began to rumble and a blood curdling roar echoed through the neighbourhood.

_Shit._

“Goddamn it, Nick!” Coach yelled, “get your shit together!”

Nick wasn’t listening, he was too busy firing his assault rifle at the giant, fleshy war machine galloping towards him. Coach took part in shooting his chrome shotgun but when the Tank got too close, they had no choice but to run.

Rochelle just managed to dodge a flying piece of concrete but buckled over the derbis. Nick was so tempted to leave her and just save himself, but something was stopping him from doing so.

 _GODDAMN IT_. He sighed under his breath and ran back to get Rochelle while Ellis and Coach distracted the Tank. Soon enough, there was a final roar and the Tank crumbled to the ground. Nick silently thanked whoever was looking down on him.

Nick lifted Rochelle of the ground gently, “are you okay?” Stupid question.

“Yeah, yeah I’m good now, thanks.” Rochelle replied, leaning on Nick’s shoulder for support. “I think I just grazed myself. Nothing a little bit of spray plaster won’t fix.”

“All right, good.” Nick smiled.

Coach was in front of him suddenly, hand pulling on the collar of his shirt. “The hell do you think you’re playing at, Nick?” He bellowed, “you could’ve gotten us all killed!”

“I didn’t though, did I? The path is cleared and we can take a shortcut.” Nick shouted back, “now do you mind getting off my suit?”

“I should beat yo’ ass where you stand.” Coach muttered and shook his head. He released Nick’s collar and pushed him back, “you do anything like that again and I will leave you behind, understand?”

Nick felt a shiver creep up his spine. “All right. Jesus.”

“Let’s get moving.” Coach called, making his way towards the alley. Rochelle looked at Nick sympathetically but said nothing, following Coach.

“C’mon.” Ellis said, nudging Nick and following after the two.

Nick was trying his best not to look so affected by Coach’s words, but it was obviously not working on Ellis. That kid knew shit.

He followed after them all, staying behind the group to look out for anything that might be creeping up on them.

~x~x~x~x~

It was getting dark and they had been walking for hours. The cold had spread through the group and everyone was shivering. They’d come across a small store that had a few packets of food, bottles of water, a few cans of soda and quite a lot of X-Rated magazines.

Rochelle had laughed at that, gesturing towards the pile of them on the counter. “Guessing someone wanted to stock up before shit hit the fan.”

Coach took a swig of Cola, “If I’d have had the chance, I would’ve.”

“Now’s your chance.” Rochelle snickered and Ellis grimaced.

Nick was exploring the store, opening the door to the back room and looking around. The whole place stunk of mold and damp. The conman covered his nose and mouth with his hand, grimacing at the smell. He didn’t want to get ill from black mold, that was the last thing he needed right now.

His foot knocked a lead pipe on the ground and manic laughter sounded from the top of the stairs. A Jockey pounced on him before he could even lift his gun.

“JOCKEY!” Nick yelled, trying to pry the thing off his shoulders. The group came running in, shooting at the ugly thing riding him like some sort of disfigured kid. “GET THIS THING OFF OF ME!”

It scratched at his neck and face, making him topple over into a pile of wood and pipes. Suddenly, Ellis ran forward, smacking the Jockey in the face with the butt of his rifle. It then pounced at Rochelle, laughing as it leapt. Coach shot it at the right time and the body fell to the floor with a loud thud.

Nick hissed in pain when he tried to sit up, a sharp pain in his side. Ellis was there in an instant, helping him sit up gently. “Yer bleeding pretty bad on yer neck, lemme heal you.” The mechanic said quietly, taking a few bandages and antiseptic wipes from his first aid kit.

“Thanks.” Nick muttered, leaning back against the wall. Ellis crouched down in front of him, wiping away the blood that was dripping onto his suit.

Rochelle walked over, handing Nick a bottle of water. “We’ll stay here for the night. It’s not safe to be out in the cold.”

“But the next safe house is only two blocks away.” Nick protested.

“You’re hurt, what if you get attacked again?”

“Look, we don’t have a lot of security here, anything could sneak up on us in the night.” Nick was beginning to lose his patience. Why would nobody see how right he was?

“I agree with Nick.” Ellis perked up, taping a dressing pad to Nick’s neck, “two blocks ain’t that far an’ I’ll keep an eye on Nick. I got plenty of ammo.”

Rochelle stared at the two for a second before nodding, “okay. Get ready to leave, we need to hurry before it gets too dark.”

Nick sighed in relief. He didn’t want to be on edge the entire night, waiting for the inevitable. They were all going to die sometime, there was no way they could all survive this shit storm that had taken over. Well, they could. It would just be impossible.

They packed as many supplies they could in case the safe house didn’t have anything. Hopefully it had a bed or at least sleeping bag. Nick didn’t know how many more concrete floors he could take before his spine just gave up. 


	2. Coaching you, son

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Pft, I don’t need protecting.” Nick scoffed, wiping the blood off his cricket bat with a rag.
> 
> “You weren’t sayin’ that when that Jockey got a swing at you.” Coach smirked.

_Two blocks. Only two blocks._ Nick shivered, exhaling and seeing his breath mist in the cold air. Coach looked back at him, “you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine, let’s just keep moving. It’s freezing.” Nick replied irritably. He hated to keep being asked if he was okay. He said he was fine, so he was fine, wasn’t he?

_Goddamn, my neck is killing me._

A faint cry of a Hunter was heard and the team readied their weapons, apart from Nick, who didn’t even have the strength to reach for his cricket bat.

“A horde!” Rochelle yelled, firing her AK-47 immediately afterwards. Infected came running from all different directions, gurgling and screeching. They surrounded the team, Nick in the middle feeling like a rag doll.

Fuck it. He thought and lifted his assault rifle, standing beside Coach and firing away, yelling at the infected as he did so. He was so lost in the beautiful sound of the rifle, he didn’t even hear the Hunter pounce.

“HUNTER ON ELLIS!” Rochelle shouted, trying to knock the thing off of the mechanic.

Ellis was trying his best to push it off his best but the Hunter started clawing at him, making him cry out in pain. The Hunter smacked the mechanic's head against the pavement and Nick glanced back at the situation, still firing at the infected surrounding them. Then he made a decision.

The ex-conman darted towards Ellis and with the last of his strength, jabbed his gun straight in the neck of the Hunter and fired seven rounds. “Give me a fucking break!” He shouted, kicking the infected body to the side.

Rochelle assisted Coach in dealing with the last few infected running at them, meanwhile Nick slumped down beside Ellis who looked to be almost slipping into unconsciousness.“Overalls,” He patted Ellis’ face, “c’mon kid, you gotta stay awake.”

“Yeah, yeah I know.” Ellis replied sleepily, “that Hunter got me real good.”

Nick looked over the gashes on Ellis’ chest and winced. They were bad. If they didn’t get to the safe house soon, they would get infected real fast.

“We need to keep moving.” Coach announced, lifting Ellis to his feet. Rochelle supported him, wrapping an arm around his waist. He hissed in pain when trying to walk; Nick could hear Rochelle murmuring words of comfort to him.

Nick tried to stand up but he couldn’t find the strength. His chest was aching, his neck was stinging, his arms felt like two iron rods and his legs just weren’t working. A hand was presented in front of him and he looked up to see Coach, offering to help him up. Nick didn’t hesitate, he grasped Coach’s strong hand and allowed himself to be lifted to his feet.

“Thanks, Coach.” Nick said quietly. Coach smiled, a genuine smile, and patted Nick’s back gently.

“We’re a team, son.”

Nick couldn’t help but smile, just slightly, at that. At first, being in a team was just an ass-aching burden. He didn’t like the idea of looking out for everyone else and sharing supplies. Then he slowly found himself feeling attached to Ro, Coach and Ellis. Feeling genuine feelings towards them all, especially feeling as if he needed to protect them.

They were, possibly, the only... _friends_ he’d ever had. He blinked a few times in surprise. Were these guys really his friends? Or just teammates? He was tired. He needed to sleep. Too much thinking was hurting his brain.

Soon enough, and slowly enough, they got to the safe house in peace. Nick looked around, not finding anything to complain about in this one because honestly, he was just happy that they weren’t dead. His eyes scanned the room, finding two couches, a mattress next to one of the couches and a pile of blankets and pillows in the middle of the mattress.

The ex-convict sighed in relief, limping over to the sofa and falling face down onto it, not caring if his neck felt like it was being ripped open all over again. He heard Rochelle chuckle and he didn’t care how stupid he looked, he was aching and cold and was so, so, so grateful of _this goddamn comfortable couch._

“We gotta look at these scratches.” He heard Coach say to Ellis.

“‘M fine.” Ellis murmured.

Nick couldn’t help but feel a small pang of worry; he was too exhausted to feel anything big at that moment in time. He was, however, thinking of getting back up and walking over to the group, checking if Ellis was okay, except he passed out on the couch in the exact position he had fallen in. Guns still on his back, pills in his jacket pocket.

x~x~x~x~x

 

“Fuck.” Nick groaned when he awoke, arm numb and back aching from the world’s most uncomfortable position to sleep in. A blanket had been draped over him and his guns had been removed from his back, but none of that really helped that fact that he felt like the groggiest, filthiest asshole in the world. All he wanted was a shower, clean clothes and a goddamn toothbrush.

He lifted his head to survey the room, noticing that Coach was sleeping on the floor next to his Couch, snoring loudly and Ellis was sleeping soundly on his back on the mattress, bandages wrapped around his chest.

Rochelle was beside him suddenly, handing him some pills and water. Nick said a quiet thanks and gave a quick smile, accepting the pills and water. After weeks of having to swallow pills dry, he was grateful for the water. He’d drink sewer water if he had to.

Well he probably wouldn’t, but who knows?

“Haven’t slept a wink.” Rochelle whispered, sitting on the arm of the couch. “The infected outside and Coach’s snoring made it impossible to doze off.”

“You should try and get some sleep, Ro. You’re gonna need the energy.” Nick replied, downing the pills. He’d never been the sort of person to make small talk, so Rochelle deciding to make conversation with him was kind of... _weird._

Rochelle nodded and looked down at her hands, “Nick.”

_Oh no._

She sounded serious. Serious conversations were worse than small talk, because with serious conversations, Nick actually had to look interested and offer support and advice. He’s a lone wolf, he’s unprepared for conversations like this. _Fuck.  
_

Nick looked at Rochelle, meeting her eyes. “Do you think we’re going to live through this?”

“Honestly?” Nick sighed, “I don’t know.”

It wasn’t something he thought about. Wasn’t something he wanted to think about, more like. They probably weren’t going to live for much longer. The infected were getting tougher, the Special Infected were becoming more common and vicious and the supply for water and food was running dry. If the infected didn’t get them, they would all probably starve to death.

Nick didn’t realize he’d been staring at Ellis the entire time, deep in thought. Rochelle had seen it, but before she could comment, Coach’s snoring stopped suddenly and he muttered something under his breath, rubbing his eyes. “Mornin’ already?” He mumbled.

Rochelle glanced back at Nick then looked to Coach, “sorry big guy, did we wake you?”

“It’s good you did, else I woulda slept all day.” Coach sat up, his back clicking in several places. He let out a long groan, standing up and stretching his muscles.

A sharp pain shot through Nick’s body and he flinched, grasping at the dressing on his neck. Rochelle was beside him in an instant, removing the dressing and looking over the wound. She hissed in sympathy, “it’s not looking good, Nick.”

Great, an infection. Just what he needed. “How bad is it?” He asked, hoping that it wasn’t oozing green shit.

“On a scale of one to ten, I’m going with seven.” Rochelle grabbed a first aid kit, rummaging around inside. “Coach, pass me the rubbing alcohol.”

 _Seven, right, that’s not too bad. Is it?_ He gasped in pain when Rochelle smothered his neck in rubbing alcohol, “Holy shit, Ro, you could’ve given me a heads up.”

“Shut up and take some pills.” Rochelle chuckled, handing him pills with her free hand.

x~x~x~x~x

 

When Ellis had (finally) woken up, the group had taken to sitting around. Ellis began cleaning his rifle and Nick shortly after realised it would probably be a good idea to wipe the brains and blood off his bat and gun too. Coach suggested staying at the safe house for another night. Nick had protested, as usual, but had been put in his place when Coach threatened to leave him behind again.

“Both you and Ellis are hurt, we can’t take that risk.” Rochelle said to Nick, siding with Coach. Nick felt a little bit betrayed seeing as Rochelle always seemed to prefer his ideas. Maybe it was jealousy.

_Nah._

“The longer we stay, the less of a chance we have of being rescued.” Nick yelled, “why won’t anybody just listen to me?!”

“We are!” Coach yelled just as loudly back.

Nick turned to Ellis for support, “Overalls, tell them you’re fine. I know you wanna keep moving as much as me.”

Ellis’ head snapped up from cleaning his rifle, looking surprised and gulping in reply. “Uhh, I...I dunno Nick, Ro and Coach do have a point.”

“Seriously?!” Nick ran a hand through his hair.

“Listen son, I don’t wanna hav’ta be out there, protectin’ your ass every goddamn minute of the day.” Coach said dangerously low, gesturing to the outside world.

“Pft, I don’t need protecting.” Nick scoffed, wiping the blood off his cricket bat with a rag.

“You weren’t sayin’ that when that Jockey got a swing at you.” Coach smirked. Rochelle snickered,

“If it wasn’t for Ellis, you wouldn’t be here right now.” She input. Ellis looked up from cleaning his rifle again and looked at Nick, who refused to meet his gaze.

Nick glared at them all, “look, I don’t need anyone looking out for me. Especially not some hillbilly.” He stood up, “I can take care of myself.” And with that, he calmly walked out of the safe room. If there were infected outside, he would kill them himself. He didn’t need anyone to be keeping an eye out for him.

Luckily, there were only a few infected lurking around. He happily took care of them with his bat and sighed once looking at the blood stains that he had just wiped off.

Leaning against the wall just outside of the safe room, Nick pulled a ragged packet of cigarettes from his pocket. He’d been saving them for a time where his pain got too unbearable or when reality started really hitting him.

It was satisfying to be able to pull the smoke into his lungs; the burning in his throat was something more. It was a guilty pleasure. God, he loved smoking. He missed it the most.

Well that’s probably a lie, but what else is there? Ex-conman, escapee from jail, no wife, no kids, no money (apart from the couple of K he stole before this mess.) - nothing. All he had were the clothes on his back, his guns and a couple of donkeys for the ride. The donkeys being his teammates, of course.

The safe room door opened and there stood the Savannah clown, hunting rifle strapped to his back and frown on his face. “Nick?”

“What do you want, Ellis?” Nick asked, taking a rather long and painful drag of his cigarette. He didn’t realize the sky could look so beautiful when mixed with smoke from burning corpses.

“Ah’m sorry if I upset you, I just-”

“Stop,” Nick put his hand up and sighed gently, “you didn’t upset me. It’s just...this is tough, alright? This whole ‘being in a team’ thing.” When he finally looked at Ellis, he saw a look of sympathy plastered on his face. He’d known.

“Yer a lonely guy, I can tell.” Ellis said looking down, kicking a rock. “Yer a man who always preferred money over friends.”

“How can you tell?” Nick asked, genuinely curious. Although, it was probably obvious by the way he acted.

“Because my Pa was jus’ like that.” Ellis replied, something unfamiliar in his voice.

Nick cleared his throat, feeling bad for asking, but he was curious. “what, um. What happened to him?”

“He ran off to Vegas when I was eight.” The hick replied, looking up to the sky and squinting, “never saw him again.”

“Oh…” Nick looked down at his bat, not really sure what to say. What could he say? “I’m sorry.”

Ellis’ head turned to him, a look of surprise on his face. “Are you feelin’ okay, Nick?”

“What do you mean?”

“You never apologize unless someone makes you.” Ellis was smiling now; that genuine, stupid smile that he always had.

Nick snorted, “well, I guess you just have that effect on me, Overalls.”

They looked at each other for a moment, eyes meeting for the first time in a while. Nick never got to notice how Ellis’ eyes practically sparkled with excitement. Excitement over what? Nick had no idea. The kid was too happy for someone in the middle of an apocalypse.

An intense pain throbbed in Nick’s neck again, making him hiss in pain. He dropped his bat and swayed, leaning against the wall for support.

“Nick?” Ellis sounded panicked, “what’s wrong?”

The pain was worse this time; his limbs felt heavy and his vision was blurred. “Fuck,” He muttered, rubbing at his eyes with the back of his hand.

“Shit man, yer burnin’ up.” Ellis whispered. Nick didn’t even realize the kid had touched his forehead. “C’mon, we need to get you inside.”

Nick didn’t protest when Ellis put an arm around his waist and forced Nick to lean on him for support. They were close; closer than they’d ever probably been and something about that made Nick want to recoil away, but he didn’t because he knew there’s a chance he’d fall to his death if he eased his grip just slightly on Ellis’ shirt.

There were muffled words from Rochelle when Nick was dragged inside the safe house and gently lowered to the sofa. He was breathing heavily and could feel his consciousness slipping away from him. The only thoughts going through his head were _so this is how it ends, huh? This is definitely it, I’m going to die._

The last thing Nick heard was the sound of Ellis asking him to stay awake.

“ _Please Nick,_ ” Ellis’ voice rang in his ears before he slipped into unconsciousness. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Could it be an infection or /the/ infection? Hmmmm...


	3. It's a bit nippy in here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew, sorry for the delay. College really takes the strength out of me. Plus, I've been catching up on Naruto (which is over :c) and Homestuck! 
> 
> Ahahaha and here you guys were thinking I had friends. Hahaha...ha...aha...

Nick awoke abruptly from the sound of a rifle. He sat up and hands were on his shoulders immediately and it took him a moment to realize they were Ellis'. "Thank God." Ellis breathed, relief washing over his features, "I thought you were a goner."

"I'm flattered." Nick croaked sarcastically, realizing his throat felt like sandpaper.

Ellis handed him a bottle of water, "sorry, you've been out for hours. We thought that...y'know...you'd been infected."

Nick took a couple of sips of water, "I bet Coach was begging you to leave me behind."

Ellis looked taken back. "Why would h-"

Nick waved his hand, "forget it. What were you shooting?"

"Coupla zombies." Ellis gestured to the safehouse door, "sorry if I woke you."

"Don't worry about it." Nick felt a smile tug at his lips from the guilty expression on Ellis' face. His eyes wandered to the kid's chest, bandages still wrapped tightly over his wounds. "Those still hurt?"

Ellis followed his line of vision and looked down at his own chest, as if he'd forgotten that he'd almost been mauled to death by a Hunter. He shook his head. "Not much."

Nick nodded in response, letting his head fall back against the sofa cushion. The pain was starting to come back and if it was as intense as before, he didn't think he'd live through this round. His body felt drained of energy. "Where are Bert and Ernie anyway?" He asked, suddenly noticing Ro and Coach weren't in the room.

"They went out t' get supplies." Ellis replied. His voice sounded further away than before; when Nick opened his eyes, he saw that Ellis was standing by the door, keeping an eye out. "I gotta make sure the street is safe."

"I wish they'd hurry up so we can get moving. I'm sick of the sight of this place already." Nick complained, shifting on the sofa to get comfortable.

"Are you crazy?" Ellis asked, "we can't leave here yet."

Nick narrowed his eyes at Ellis, "and why the hell not?"

Ellis stared at him incredulously then gestured towards Nick, "ain't it obvious?"

Nick could really use ten tequila shots and a cigar right now. "I'm fine."

" _Jesus_ Nick." Ellis was visibly distressed as he took his cap off and ran a hand through his hair. He rubbed the back of his neck as if it ached and Nick felt like he was just making it worse for the kid.

Suddenly Nick was feeling guilty.  _Guilty? Really?_ He didn't know  _why_ exactly seeing as he knew he was right and that they should keep moving regardless of who's injured, because the sooner they get to a CEDA hideout, the better. He'll worry about his injuries when nerdy guys in hazmat suits are poking him with needles and smacking his knee with a hammer.

The silence between them was broken by a shuffle coming from outside. It caught Ellis' attention before it caught Nick's and suddenly Ellis was raising his rifle, muscles tense and ready for a fight.

"Ellis, it's us." Coach whispered tapping on the safe house door with his pistol. Ellis let out a sigh of relief and unhooked the metal bar that was barricading them in.

Coach let out a long breath when he stepped inside the safe house, pushing all of his weapons onto the floor and stretching. His eyes then saw Nick and he looked vaguely surprised. "How ya feelin'?" He asked all too nicely.

"Fine." Nick replied also all too nicely. He wasn't exactly lying. His neck wasn't extremely painful, it just felt heavy and warm. It throbbed, but not too badly. He didn't  _feel_  like he was dying so it was safe to assume he wasn't.

"We got you these." Rochelle called before she threw a bottle of pills at Nick. He caught them and skimmed over the label, surprised that they weren't just pain pills.

"Erythromycin?" Nick's eyes shot up to Rochelle in surprise, "where the hell did you manage to get these?"

Rochelle shrugged with a smirk, "found them lying around the supermarket a few blocks down."

"Girl's got a good eye." Coach chuckled.

Nick took two pills dry and gave a thumbs up to Rochelle, silently thanking her for her superhero ability to find antibiotics in the middle of a zombie apocalypse. Rochelle may have smiled at him slightly longer than usual.

 

**x~x~x~x~x**

After hours of convincing and ass kissing, the others had agreed to leave the safe house. Nick silently thanked whatever twisted God was up there as they all packed whatever they could into their first aid kits. Coach had pointed a finger at Nick and firmly told him that if he passed out again, Coach would never listen to him again. Nick had agreed and muttered about how he was never listened to anyway, then Nick saw Ellis frown when he was checking over his rifle. Rochelle had urged them all to leave and Ellis went back to his upbeat self, loading up his rifle. Nick honestly wished he could be as happy as that kid.

They'd been walking for hours, as usual. Coach had suggested taking the main roads but Rochelle said alleys would be better, so they went with alleys because Rochelle was mostly (always) right. Nick's neck was beginning to throb more than earlier, so not caring how long it'd been since he took the last two, he downed two more pills, saving the water for when he really needed it. The last thing he needed was to be dehydrated with an infection. Then again, he  _really_ didn't need an overdose either.

Oh well, he was gonna die sooner or later. It'd be ironic to die from medication in a street full of the walking dead.

The group were wandering through secluded alleyways and side streets, looking for chalk drawings leading them to another safe house. They hadn't seen any for hours now and by the looks of it, Rochelle was getting panicked.

"It's getting dark." Rochelle spoke up, gripping her rifle a little tighter.

Ellis stopped walking and so did the others, "guys I think I hear somethin'." He whispered.

"Could be a witch." Coach suggested.

Ellis shook his head, looking into the dim alley before them. "Naw. Let's go check it out." He said quietly, hands tightening around the axe in his hands. The others followed behind him until he stopped again and his tense shoulders relaxed. "It's just a door."

"What?" Rochelle asked quietly, peering around Ellis' frame.

Ellis walked forward without even thinking, obviously, and approached the open door which had been banging gently against the frame. He yanked opened the door and looked inside with his torch, peering around before entering. Coach followed behind him closely then Nick and Rochelle kept a close eye on their surroundings behind the group.

The door had led them into a house which stank of rotten flesh and damp, as usual, but there was something off about it. Nick couldn't put his finger on it but whatever it was was making him anxious, and that was a feeling Nick wasn't familiar with. He didn't like it.

Ellis and Rochelle had begun rummaging around to find supplies while Coach checked the other rooms. Before Nick could even voice his anxiety, there was a shout from Ellis. Nick turned around to see Ellis stumble back, clutching his right hand as blood oozed out of it. A tall, bulky zombie hissed and clambered out of the pantry. Ellis snatched up his axe and swung it around, slicing off an infected limb before the thing darted forward, snapping it's teeth at him again before Rochelle and Nick jumped in, both firing shots at the infected.

"What the  _shit,_ man?!" Ellis swore, flicking the blood off of his right hand then groaning in pain. Rochelle took a hold of his hand and shone her torch on it, frowning and inspecting the wound.

"It bit you." Rochelle stated, "and pretty bad."

Coach came back into the room, bemused at the noise. "What happened?"

"Ellis got bit." Rochelle gestured to Ellis' hand, "we're gonna need to cover this up." She said quickly, reaching for the first aid kit on her back.

Nick could do nothing except stand there uselessly, watching as Rochelle worked and Ellis hissed in pain. Coach stepped in a put a hand on Ellis' shoulder, assuring him that he would be fine.

Of course he'd be fine. They're all immune! Nick then remembered the pills Rochelle gave him earlier and snatched them from his pocket quicker than he wanted to admit. He dashed forward and handed them to Ellis.

"Here, overalls." He gave a small smile when Ellis looked up at him with those innocent eyes. Suddenly he found himself at loss for words. "These'll help."

"Thanks Nick." Ellis smiled.

Nick felt satisfied. He'd helped someone today and wasn't being lugged around like a useless sack of flour. Most of all, he'd helped Ellis. He didn't know why that was suddenly a big thing. Why was that suddenly a big thing? His thoughts were interrupted when the unmistakable sound of a hoard erupted through the house.

Rochelle visibly stiffened from finishing wrapping the bandage around Ellis' hand. It was now considered late evening and that, in no way, made it easier to see where the hoard was planning on coming from.

When infected spilled in through the door they had entered from, everyone got into their shitty Power Rangers battle formation and started shooting. Well, that was until, Ellis ran out of ammo and had to start using his axe to defend himself. Nick found himself aiming for the infected running at Ellis rather than the ones running at himself, making Coach yell at him to focus. He was focusing, just not on his own life. Which was strange.

Acid came flying from a random part of the room and it landed right at Coach's feet. He yelled out and stumbled back, distracting the others and suddenly, a zombie was on Ellis. It's teeth sunk into the flesh on his shoulder and he swore, shoving it back but others were forcing themselves forward and he was close to being overloaded with infected.

Nick ran forward and almost knocked Rochelle off her feet as he barged into the hoard slowly piling on top of Ellis, shooting his rifle at any piece of shit that dared come near him. He knocked a few back and let Rochelle handle them while he turned to Ellis and patted him down, feeling for any other bites or cuts. His eyes scanned Ellis' body then their eyes met and Nick realized just how run down the other looked. He did not look good at all.

Ellis' hand was holding the bite on his shoulder when he spoke. "Thanks for savin' me." He gave a small smile.

Nick couldn't find a smile to give back, instead he just removed Ellis' hand from the wound and stared at it long and hard before realizing something.

None of them had been bitten before.

"Nick?" Ellis' voice rang out in Nick's ears. He sounded worried. "What? Is it bad?"

Nick looked up at the kid, trying not to let his thoughts overrun him with worst case scenarios. "No, you're fine." He said finally. Ellis relaxed slightly under Nick's touch and Nick found himself feeling even worse for lying to the kid.

Rochelle checked over the bite mark and did her magical healing work with whatever medical supplies she had. Nick did offer to help but she just batted his hand away and said she could do it. Rochelle obviously didn't realize that Nick  _really wanted_ to help.

"Come on people, I wanna get to the safe house before dark." Coach piped up.

Rochelle nodded in agreement and followed Coach out of the house and into the street. Nick handed Ellis his assault rifle before leaving.

"Are you sure?" Ellis asked, looking a little, if not more, surprised.

"I got my pistols." Nick patted Ellis lightly on the back and ushered for him to move. What the  _hell_ was happening to him? He was actually feeling  _okay_ towards Ellis. Before he'd wanted to beat the living shit out of the optimistic man-child, now he just...just…

"Fuck." Nick said aloud.

"What?" Rochelle asked with a concerned look.

"Nothing. It's fine." Nick waved his hand and the rest of them carried on walking.

Nick  _cared._

Oh christ fucking shit.


	4. Am I gonna die?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It feels like only yesterday I updated this. 
> 
> Gosh, college takes up all of my time ;-;
> 
> but anyway, here, have some feels.

Ellis was trying to act fine, but he was obviously not. Nick could see the winces and hear the almost inaudible gasps of pain when the other would pick up his axe or Nick's rifle. Nick found himself more concerned for the kid than for himself. He knew they needed to find a safehouse and quickly if Ellis had any hope of surviving.

A Smoker cry was heard from one of the rooftops and Nick found himself subconsciously moving closer to Ellis. It was Rochelle who was dragged away from the group as she kicked and yelled at the tongue wrapped around her waist and neck. Nick aimed up with his pistols, squinting in the darkness but before he could even put his finger on the trigger, Ellis had gotten a clear shot on the tongue and the Smoker gave a loud cry before running off.

Rochelle groaned in pain as she slipped the tongue's dead weight off her body. She knelt down and grasped her ankle, pressing into the skin firmly.

"Shit." She muttered.

"What's wrong?" Nick found himself asking instinctively.

"I've twisted my ankle." She shook her head and slammed her hand onto the gravel below. "It's just one thing after another." She added angrily.

"It's alright, I've got you." Coach helped Rochelle up slowly and told her to lean on his shoulder for support while she bandaged her ankle. Nick turned to Ellis as the two spoke briefly; the kid was unusually quiet.

"You okay, Overalls?" Nick asked, raising an eyebrow.

Ellis was leaning against the wall of the alley and staring down at the bloodstained bandage on his hand. He looked dazed and Nick didn't know if it was because of the medication or the bite.

He really hoped it wasn't the latter.

Ellis' head snapped in Nick's direction and he gave a small smile, "yeah, don't worry about me."

Nick wished he could've believed the other. "Does that hurt?" Nick nodded towards the covered bite mark on Ellis' hand.

"Only a bit, but you know, I've had a lot worse." Ellis laughed, "this one time, Keith thought it'd be a good idea to go cow tippin', except with bulls, and I mean full grown bulls, and cut long story short, me an' Keith were in the hospital for four whole weeks before we could even  _move_."

Nick couldn't help but crack a smile. "You had a fucked up way of having fun. Didn't you ever do normal stuff, like walk the dog or...I don't know, skip rocks?"

"We did that too, but with Keith, you almost always ended up gettin' hurt."

Nick was about to speak again, because goddamn he felt like he needed to keep Ellis talking and take his mind off the obvious pain he was in, however Rochelle called out to them with something akin to glee in her voice.

"Nick, Ellis, we found an arrow."

Relief completely drowned Nick and he let himself relax. The group moved as quickly as they could manage in the pitch black streets, trying not to trip over anything or draw too much attention to themselves. There were more arrows and drawings as they got closer to the safe house and Nick could feel himself slowly getting more exhausted at the thought of finally being able to lean back against a wall without his weapons digging into any uncomfortable places.

They came across a wire fence but when Coach shone his torch on it, they discovered there was a safe house just up ahead. It was so close but so, so far considering nobody really had the energy to throw themselves over a fence. When Nick looked back at Ellis, he realized that he was right. At this moment in time, he really hated being right.

Coach lifted Rochelle up over the fence first, quietly telling her she was 'doin' fine'. She really was for someone with a sprained ankle, Nick was impressed how gracefully she got over the other side of the fence and jumped down, only giving a small gasp of pain. Coach then followed after her quickly so that if they were attacked, everybody had a buddy to help against a hoard.

Nick moved to the side and gestured Ellis to go next, knowing full well that the kid would be ripped to shreds within seconds of an attack right now. Ellis gave him an odd look but none the less, lifted himself over the fence and jumped down with a grunt. Nick followed suit, a little less gracefully. His foot got tangled in the wire at the top and he fell halfway, landing on his side with a loud thump on the concrete.

"Ahh fuck." He swore. Pain shot up his spine and back down through his legs, spreading out over every part of his body. For a moment, he thought he'd been paralyzed until Ellis offered him a hand and helped him up. There was gonna be a hell of a bruise on him in the morning.

They all limped their way to the safe house, all exhausted and just done with infected shit in general. There was a faint cry of a Smoker but they all ignored it, knowing there was no point in trying to track it down when all of them were in a state.

**x~x~x~x~x**

 

 

Nick stared at the inside of the safe house, eyes scanning over everything he couldn't get himself to believe. This place was like the equivalent to a goddamn bunker! Rochelle gave a sigh of relief when she fell onto one of the chairs in the middle of the room.

"Before all this shit kicked off, I would've thought this place was a dump. But now, I'm so grateful to whichever paranoid freak did this." She laughed and gestured to the room.

The place  _was_  a dump, if Nick was honest. Then again, everything was a dump now, but this place was a good dump. The kitchen was filled with used pots and plates, but there were packets and tins of food piled up in the cupboards and pantry - Ellis warned Nick about looking in the pantry. The lounge was spacious and had two black sofas and two black arm chairs, all matching. The rug on the floor was also black, contrasting nicely with the light grey carpet.

The walls were printed with yellow stained white stripes but the wallpaper was peeling so badly that Nick couldn't tell if the stripes were actually part of the design. There was an upstairs too, which both Nick and Coach had scanned thoroughly. Two bedrooms and a bathroom, which had blood splatters in the sink and on the floor. Nick silently shut the door and tried to ignore the drag marks on the light blue tiles leading to the bath. The bedrooms were in better shape than the lounge, however still a complete mess. There was red carpet in both bedrooms and white wallpaper (minus the bloody hand marks). There weren't any beds, as usual, but there were two queen mattresses so Nick was satisfied. After looking over and sniffing the duvets and various pillows, he decided that they would be fine to sleep with.

He had a discussion with Coach and both of them decided it would be better if everyone stayed in the same room. "The windows are boarded up but personally, I'd feel better if there were other people to feast on while I make a run for it." Nick had said. Jokingly, of course, but the look Coach gave him made an obvious note that he shouldn't make laidback jokes about the group being eaten alive in their sleep.

Coach really needed to lighten up.

They made their way back down the stairs and was met with Ellis coming out of a room. He pointed to the door, "I found a generator in the basement."

"There's a basement?" Nick asked in surprise, then narrowed his eyes almost immediately as the surprised dispersed. "Wait, you went down there on your  _own_?"

Ellis shrugged, "one zombie ain't gonna kill me."

Nick nodded sarcastically. "So the one that bit you…" He trailed off, waving his hand.

"Look, Nick, I appreciate yer concern an' all, but I'm too tired to argue with you right now." Ellis replied seriously. Nick immediately backed off, which was something he probably  _never did_.

"Right. Sorry."

"Does anyone have pills?" Rochelle called out from the sofa, her voice full of exhaustion. Nick patted his suit but Ellis beat him to it, walking over to Rochelle and handing her the pills. Nick tried to hear the quiet conversation they began to have, only then he realised his hearing wasn't as good as it used to be.

Seeing Rochelle take two pills reminded him that the pain in his neck was mostly gone. There was throbbing here and there but the infection had gone; after Rochelle had changed the bandages, she said it looked fine. Thank fuck. Now all he needed to do was pray that Ellis had the same luck.

He mentally cursed and turned to the basement door, hoping to check out this generator. Coach was staring at him, arms crossed with an eyebrow raised.

"What?" Nick asked.

Coach shook his head and opened the door, walking down the stairs to the basement. Nick threw a final glance at Ellis and Rochelle before following.

The basement reeked of dust and would've looked similar to oblivion if their flashlights weren't working. How the fuck did Ellis get down there and back up in one piece? If there was an infected lurking, he'd have been done for. Dumb kid.

Nick tutted and that caught Coach's attention. There was a silence where both of them looked around cautiously before spotting the generator in the far corner of the room. Both of them began looking over it, finding switches and buttons that Nick really didn't understand but nonetheless, tried to look interested. It probably didn't work anyway.

"Now Nick," Coach said suddenly, making Nick jump. Coach gave him an apologetic look before continuing, "I know you're lonely out here, I get it. I miss my momma, and Father Cole too."

Nick nodded slowly, not sure where Coach was going with this conversation. He got the impression he wouldn't like it, though.

"I never had anyone who I loved more than my momma, not even past girlfriends. My point is, I see the way you've been lookin'..." He trailed off and Nick glanced nervously at him, trying his best not to look effected by Coach's words. "You know those two are only friends, and if you ever wanted to...you know. You could." Then Coach added sternly, "just don't mess it up."

Nick had failed at his mission because he was pretty sure the look on his face portrayed how mortified he was. Coach had noticed? How closely had the big guy been looking? Coach knew how Nick felt better than Nick himself.  _Fuck._

"Don't worry, I won't tell no one." Coach chuckled, "when you're ready to tell her, I'll back you up."

_Wait._ Her? So Coach thought...Well shit. He couldn't correct him because Nick had obviously been stealing glances and if Nick  _did_ correct him, Coach would then figure it out.

What was there to figure out? Nothing. Nothing at all. Nick panicked as a spur of the moment thing, not because he was interested in some happy-go-lucky, dumb and dumber, hillbilly kid. Nick then noticed Coach had been waiting for an answer, so he just nodded as a reply and gave a quick smile.

Coach grinned. "No need to look so scared, I'll act like I know nothing."

"Great, thanks." Nick replied, letting out a long breath he didn't notice he'd been holding.

**x~x~x~x~x**

 

 

Everyone had agreed to sleeping in the same room, so Nick and Coach brought (chucked) the two mattresses down the stairs and picked used any blankets and duvets they could salvage from the pile in one of the bedrooms. Nick inspected each one of them closely again, making sure he didn't turn over in the night and end up laying in boomer vomit.

Rochelle was changing Ellis' bandages in the kitchen when Nick and Coach had brought everything into the lounge. Nick couldn't help but inwardly wince at the way Ellis swore when Rochelle was cleaning his bites. It made Nick think about how painful the scratch on his neck was and by God he hoped Ellis wasn't feeling the same pain he'd suffered with. Nick wouldn't wish that on his worst enemy.

He thought that surely if Ellis had become infected, he would've turned by now. In a way, that comforted him. But then again, Nick didn't know just how far each of their immunities stretched. They, Nick included, had thought he had been infected by the scratch. He probably had been, but his body fought it off. Now Ellis' body was trying to do the same.

Ellis looked extremely run down. The bruises and cuts on his skin stood out even more now that he was about thirty percent paler than usual. He was also too quiet for Nick to feel comfortable, and Nick seriously had to rethink that. Most of the time, Nick was telling him to shut up but right now, he wouldn't mind a stupid story about how Keith got his arm caught in a cow's ass or something.

"I'm gonna get some shut eye and I suggest the rest of you do as well." Rochelle yawned packing away the medical supplies.

"Yes  _mom._ " Nick snickered. Rochelle mocked him and lightly smacked him on the shoulder.

"I'll help you." Coach smiled, allowing Rochelle to lean on him for support as she limped her way out of the kitchen. She said a breathless thank you before saying goodnight to Ellis and Nick. Coach did the same and allowed the kitchen door to close behind him.

"Ro did a pretty good job." Ellis smiled, rolling his uninjured shoulder back a few times.

"That woman's a miracle worker." Nick replied with a smirk. He found himself looking at Ellis' bandaged hand. Ellis obviously noticed because he followed Nick's line of vision and glanced down.

"Am I gonna die, Nick?" Ellis asked suddenly.

Nick's full attention was on Ellis now. "What?"

"I don't want you to lie to me." Ellis replied, staring down at his hand. "I see the way you keep lookin' at me and I know I'm not okay."

How the fuck was he supposed to answer that? Nick took to the silence for a moment, hesitant on replying. Did he lie? Did he not lie? What did he even think?

"No." He said firmly. "No, you're not going to die."

Ellis looked up at Nick, surprised. "But I-"

Nick pointed to his neck which throbbed at the sudden attention. "I got slashed by a Jockey and I'm fine, aren't I? You guys thought I was a goner but, hell, I'm still here."

"Yeah," Ellis looked down with a small smile, "yeah I guess you are."

"You're gonna be fine, Overalls." Nick smiled. He allowed his defences to drop as he patted Ellis on the back lightly. They were gonna be fine.


	5. Left Behind

Nick hardly ever dreamed. A lot of the time when he did, it was mostly about childhood events or his largest fuck ups in life. Before the team had discovered safehouses, Nick had trouble sleeping. He'd slip into a light sleep for a few minutes and as soon as he heard a noise, he'd have sat up with his gun ready and continued to be on edge for the rest of the night. So basically, he went with hardly any sleep.

He was still a light sleeper and often woke up to the sound of Coach's mumbling and loud-ass snoring or the sound of an infected wandering around outside but he knew he was as safe as he could get and it wouldn't bother him.

Halfway through a dream, Nick turned over on the mattress that him and Coach had gracefully thrown down the stairs and over the banister. He dreamed of his ex-wife, for some unknown reason, and how he'd met her. In a bar, of course, then a one night stand which didn't exactly turn out to be a one night stand considering he'd bumped into her again. They'd gotten married too soon. Two months into the relationship and he'd decided to pop the big question.

Of course he'd done the smart thing and left her at the altar, jumping on a train to Las Vegas and never setting foot in Salt Lake City again. He was reliving the entire memory in his head. At this point, he was in the cab, heading to the train station. He looked out the window, feeling all of the guilt and regret slowly fade over the sound of the radio. The sun caught his eye and blinded him but no matter how much he squinted, the sun burned his eyes.

Then he woke up, facing the bright beam of light that shone through a crack in the board covering one of the windows. He cursed under his breath and sat up, his sleep now fully disturbed. Yawning, he looked around the room to see everyone else still sleeping. Coach on one of the sofas, Rochelle curled into a ball on the other mattress and Ellis…Ellis was nowhere to be seen.

Nick looked around, suddenly on alert. He got up from the mattress, with a few displeased cracks from his joints, and searched around the house as quietly as he could.

"Where the fuck-?" Nick's eyebrows creased in confusion. Surely the kid wouldn't have left; he's not  _that_ stupid. Is he?

Nick picked up his bat and double glanced at his rifle, debating whether to take it or not. He decided not to and quietly opened the door to the outside world. He'd forgotten how beautiful sunrises could be. It took him back to the days where he'd gotten so drunk that he'd passed out in an alley and awoken when the sun wouldn't fuck off out of his face. Those were good days.

"Nick?" A southern accent echoed through the street. Nick turned around to see Ellis strolling towards him, goofy grin on his face, axe in his hands. Even when the kid was covered in blood and was bruised like a banana, he managed to glow and radiate happiness.

"What the hell are you doing?" Nick asked, panic melting away. Now he was just angry that the hick made him panic. Why was he panicking anyway? Ellis was a skilled killer. He was so skilled that at first, Nick really didn't trust him, which is ironic considering the group never trusted Nick to begin with.

"Sometimes when I can't sleep, I go for walks." Ellis replied, turning the axe over in his hands.

"Are you really that dumb? You could've gotten killed."

"I keep an eye out, don't worry." Nick's anger didn't seem to phase Ellis in the slightest.

"What if a Special would've gotten you?" Nick raged on, thinking up crazy scenarios which were almost unlikely to happen so early in the morning but nonetheless, they  _could_ happen.

When he was finished ranting, he looked back at Ellis who resembled a hurt puppy.  _Goddamn it._ Now Nick felt really bad. "Look, next time you wanna go for a walk or whatever, wake me up. The last thing I need is Rochelle chewing my ass off for not keeping an eye on you."

Ellis nodded, looking down at the axe in his hands. There was a silence and Nick felt like someone had ripped his chest open and beaten him with a blunt object. Why did the kid have to make him feel bad? Nick  _never_ felt bad.

"It's still early." Nick observed, "if you're not tired, we could try and find some more ammo." Nick shrugged, hoping for a smile from the kid.

A smile tugged at Ellis' lips."Okay."

_Oh thank god I didn't break him._

**~x~x~x~x~**

 

There weren't that many infected roaming the streets, which was lucky because Nick only had his bat and Ellis only had his axe. The two of them decided to stick with melee weapons, seeing as guns were loud and could attract unwanted attention.

They'd managed to scavenge what they could from a few apartments; three bottles of pain pills, two adrenaline shots and a couple of pipe bombs. Unfortunately there wasn't any ammo lying around and Nick wasn't surprised at all. Ellis looked up at the sky while they were walking and told Nick it was around noon. Rochelle and Coach were most likely awake and no doubt revving up their vocabularies so they have as many insults as possible to throw at Nick.

_Eh. Oh well._ Nick didn't really care. Ellis had put him in an unusually good mood and right now, a Jockey humping him couldn't bring him down.

Or so he thought. As soon as they arrived back at the safe house, Coach was on him.

"Where the  _hell_ you two been?" Coach barked.

"We went to find more ammo." Nick held his hands up to stop Coach from coming any closer.

"You know damn straight if you leave, you're supposed to let someone else know." Coach pointed at Nick.

"It was my idea, Coach." Ellis input guiltily, "I went out because I couldn't sleep an' Nick found me."

Coach's eyes softened immediately. "Not to mention both of you are hurt. What the hell were you thinkin'?" He asked Ellis, shaking his head.

Nick wasn't going to let this opportunity for an argument pass. "Oh, right, like you care." Nick sassed.

"What's that s'posed to mean?" Coach asked, turning back to Nick.

"Sorry, do I need to speak slower?"

"Boy, you are really pushin' my buttons." Coach warned dangerously low.

"Will you stop!" Rochelle stepped in between both of them, "this is the last thing we need right now."

"I'm sorry Ro but he's gonna make me do somethin' I regret." Coach glared at Nick.

"Big talk." Nick nodded with a smirk, "wow, I'm scared."

Coach lunged forward, punching Nick square in the jaw with his rock hard fist and knocking him back a couple of steps into Ellis. Nick felt the mechanic's hands rest on his shoulders to keep him upright. He soon regained his balance and held his jaw, looking back at Coach with his slow building rage. He never actually thought Coach would hit him.

Rochelle looked utterly shocked, her mouth agape, as did Ellis.

"You asked for that." Coach retorted. Nick was ready for a fight so he went to dart forward but Ellis' grip tightened on his shoulders. Rochelle stepped in front of him.

"Stop." She warned, "you're just going to make things worse."

"Do I look like I care?" Nick shrugged off her glare, "I'm tired of his shit, Rochelle."

"Yeah? And we're tired of yours." Coach muttered.

"Can we all just stop and take a breather?" Rochelle intervened again. She was starting to get on Nick's nerves. "This situation is not getting any easier with you two fighting all the time. Let's just get our supplies together and get to the CEDA hideout in one piece."

Nick took a deep breath. "fine, okay."

Coach relaxed his tense shoulders and nodded. Rochelle exhaled calmly and approached Ellis, a slight limp in her step. Her and Ellis had such a weird bond, like a mother-son kind of thing going on. She only referred to Ellis as 'sweetie', never anyone else in the group. At first Nick thought it was a crush, the way Rochelle was so quick to defend Ellis when Nick used to make fun of him, but now he sees it as motherly instinct.

Sometimes it got on Nick's nerves, how she'd sugar coat  _everything_ for Ellis. He wasn't a damn kid. Well, he was but not a five year old; he was a twenty four year old guy.

Nick pretended to be checking his ammo in each of his weapons while looking at the two of them in the corner of his eye. Rochelle was looking over Ellis' wounds and frowning, "sweetie, try not to move your arm as much."

_For Christ's sake._

"Yes m'am." Ellis replied with his charming, one of a kind smile.

"You sure you're feeling fine?" Rochelle asked, covering the wounds with dressing.

On one hand, Nick hoped it was a yes, but on the other hand, he really hoped the kid wouldn't push himself too hard.

"Hell yeah, let's get outta here." Ellis gave an upbeat reply. Nick couldn't help the small smile that played on his lips.

**~x~x~x~x~**

 

Somehow, they'd gotten lost along the way. Coach had said to turn left. Nick said to turn right and now they were lost. Completely and utterly lost in the middle of an abandoned street. Nick was scouting around, looking in cars to check if the keys were still in the ignition. He would hotwire but there was the chance of setting off a car alarm in the process and that was definitely not something any of them needed.

"Goddamn it." Coach muttered, "we should go back the way we came. This is the last time I listen to you giving me directions." Coach thrust his finger in Nick's direction.

"What the fuck did I do? I didn't put a gun to your head and tell you to go right."

"If we woulda gone left, you woulda complained the whole damn time!" Coach raised his voice.

"I only complain when I know I'm right, so shut up Willy Wonka!" Nick shouted back.

"What did you call me!?" Coach bellowed and began stomping towards Nick, throwing his gun on the ground. Rochelle rolled her eyes and moved away from Nick, obviously not giving a shit enough to stop the fight that was seconds from breaking out.

"Guys!" Ellis called out. Each of them turned to the hick, pausing their movements. "Do ya'll hear that?"

"Hear what?" Nick asked.

"Nothin'."

Nick frowned."Then why-"

"No, I mean I can't hear nothin'. It's real quiet."

"Yeah, so?"

"Ain't that a lil' weird?"

Come to think of it, it was. It was quiet. Too quiet. Everyone was visibly tense, looking over their shoulder in the empty street. Coach picked his gun back up off the ground and moved backwards towards the wall. Nick stopped leaning on the car he was searching through and got his assault rifle ready.

Then came the inevitable; the cry of an oncoming horde. Each of their heads snapped in every direction, trying to see where the pack of infected were coming from. A horde is what they'd been trying to avoid, with Rochelle's injured ankle and Ellis' wounds.

"East!" Rochelle yelled, firing her assault rifle at the horde charging at them.

Nick was about to reload when the horde got worse, so he decided to use his pistols until the infected died down.  _Hah._ He would've laughed if it weren't for the risk of him losing his concentration and getting his throat ripped out.

To the left of him, Ellis was struggling to keep the infected away. This was one of the worst hordes they'd ever seen. In the corner of Nick's eye, he saw Coach go down and heard the unmistakable yell from his team mate.

"I could use a lil' help over here!"

Rochelle was beside Coach in an instant; the infected were pouring in fast and there was nothing Nick could do to get past them. He took a final look at Coach and was sure that the other saw him before a Charger came out of nowhere and slammed into the wall behind the group, knocking Nick to the ground. Without even thinking, he reached for a bile bomb and threw it at the Charger. The infected piled over it and Nick stood up, watching the scene unfold, trying to find Coach and Rochelle. He couldn't see them.

_Shit._ They must have been in the middle of the horde. He felt his blood run cold when he tried looking again and not seeing the two anywhere. The infected were almost finished with the Charger. Ellis was still behind him, taking out a few of the common infected that weren't attracted by the Boomer bile. Nick took his chance and grabbed Ellis' arm, pulling him away from the scene.

"Nick, wh-"

"Move." Nick cut in, pulling the other.

"But-"

"MOVE." He repeated, this time more firmly. Ellis followed behind him, running away from the screeching and gurgling from the horde. Nick was pretty sure they hadn't noticed the two of them leave; if they did, Nick would've known about it.

They turned various sharp corners and found a quiet spot inside of a boarded up convenience store. Both of them dropped their weapons on to the floor once they got inside. Nick knew Ellis had questions. They regained their breaths before Ellis spoke.

"Ro and Coach…" Ellis said. It was the beginning of a question and Nick wasn't sure how to answer it.

"I couldn't see them." He lied. There was no point explaining how he saw Coach go down and saw Rochelle try to help him up because there was nothing he could've done anyway. No point in dwelling on it. "I knew we had to get out of there."

"We need to go back." Ellis breathed, picking up his rifle, "we need to find 'em."

Nick grabbed Ellis' arm, "if we go back there, we're goners."

"We can't just leave 'em, Nick!" Ellis protested.

"Maybe they got away," Nick ran a hand through his hair, trying to think up reasons why he couldn't see the two. Other than the obvious. "Maybe...maybe they left  _us_ behind."

"They wouldn't do that."

"Are we talking about the same people?"

"Jesus  _shit_." Ellis cursed.

"Look, Ellis." Nick began, feeling guilty. "There's nothing we can do."

Ellis pinched the bridge of his nose and Nick wasn't sure whether he was frustrated or trying to stop himself from crying. Or both.

Nick found himself not caring whether Ellis cried or not because he was pretty sure it'd been building up over the weeks. Ellis was a happy-go-lucky kid and  _way_ too calm and lighthearted for someone when the world was turning to shit.

Looking back over at Ellis, Nick hesitantly rested his hand on the other's shoulder. "You okay, Overalls?" He asked softly. This kid brought out the better side of him; it was... _weird._

Ellis nodded and looked back up at Nick, clearing his throat. "Yeah, 'm fine."

Nick wanted to reassure him; he wanted to just tell the kid that Rochelle and Coach might be at the next safe house, that they might run into them on the way there but there was no point in giving each other false hope.

Rule #2 in this whole fucked up scenario,  _chase away your hopes and dreams because goddamn, you'll never live them out now._

"It's gonna get dark soon," Ellis said, knocking Nick out of his thoughts.

Nick nodded and let his hand drop from Ellis' shoulder, "you should lead the way; it's obvious how bad I am at directions."

Ellis let out a small laugh."That reminds me of this one time…" Ellis started talking about the time his 'buddy Keith tried carjacking'.

Nick felt himself smile at the other as they began walking. He hated to admit it but damn, he'd missed Ellis' stupid stories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot believe how quickly weeks go. All of my stories are probably going to have late updates because college is just piling on the work; I don't even have time for a social life! 
> 
> Not that I even have one ;-;


	6. The truth hurts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is a mix of anger, sadness and soppyness. 
> 
> Enjoy~

Nick began to wonder if this is what surviving was all about. On the move, constantly. Always on edge, always looking over your shoulder. Running when you could run and playing dead when you couldn't. Occasionally feeling that cold fear jump through you when you know you're fucked.

By no means did he ever think surviving would be easy, as shown in those cheesy zombie movies. He did, think, however, that the movies would at least be similar to real life. They weren't in any way, shape or form. The zombies weren't laughable and the situations of being trapped are never easy to get out of. Sometimes there is no hole in the fence so it's either climb or die.

He'd tried not to let dark thoughts eat away at him, no pun intended, but it's hard not to when two of your teammates are missing and the one you're left with has stopped distracting you. Ellis had stopped talking a while ago, now that Nick thought about it. He glanced over at the other, seeing him staring straight ahead as he walked, pain evident on his face.

They were getting close to a safehouse; the drawings on the walls were becoming more frequent. No infected roamed the streets anymore and that unnerved Nick rather than relieved him. No infected could mean the possibility of running into a Tank, and that was the last thing either of them needed. Four of them struggled with a Tank; the two of them would be dead within minutes.

Thankfully, the safehouse was in their view and Nick breathed a heavy sigh of relief. He wrapped his arm around Ellis' waist, noticing how the other was slowing down. "Come on overalls, don't die on me." He said quietly. He heard a small, breathless laugh in reply to his comment.

Ellis slumped down on the couch inside the safehouse with a groan. He looked worse than before, if that was even possible. He took off his cap and chucked it across the room, leaning back against the sofa.

"I gotta change your bandages." Nick said and nudged him to move over.

"Do you even know how to?" Ellis asked, surprise obvious on his face.

Nick sighed and sat down next to Ellis, rummaging through his first aid kit and taking out what he needed. "Of course I do."

Ellis cursed under his breath when Nick pulled the dressing off the bite on his shoulder. Nick examined the wound, noticing that it was  _still_ bleeding. It wasn't infected in any way; the teeth marks were clean but it wasn't healing. At all.

Nick didn't realise his fingers had brushed over the raw flesh and Ellis flinched, hissing in pain. "Sorry," Nick muttered and reached for rubbing alcohol. "This is gonna hurt a lot more."

"I  _really_ hope you know what you're doin'." Ellis replied, bracing himself.

"You gotta have a little more faith in me, kid." Nick smirked, dabbing at the cut. "I've treated worse than this."

"Do I wanna know why?"

Nick chuckled and pulled away to inspect his work. Then he moved onto the bandage wrapped around Ellis' hand. "A friend of mine, back in '04, got shot."

"How come?" Ellis asked, flinching suddenly when Nick pulled off the dressing. Nick said a quiet apology before continuing.

"Well, cut a long story short, he got involved with the wrong crowd." Nick shrugged, "anyway, I was there and had to keep him alive before the paramedics arrived."

Ellis was silent for a moment. "Did you?"

"Luckily, I was fast enough to stop the bleeding." Nick smiled at the memory. "He ended up getting choked to death in jail a few years later anyway."

"Oh."

Nick finished wrapping a new bandage around the bite. "He had it coming."

It was true. Before this mess, Nick probably wouldn't have been so casual about his friend dying. Now? Now a majority, if not,  _all_ of the people he knew before this shit were now dead. Probably blending into the other kind of crowd.

"I'm sorry." Ellis said quietly. Nick sensed the atmosphere in the room shift. He realized then that he'd never actually opened up about his life before. He'd never trusted the group enough to say anything and, if he was honest, he never saw the point. Who he was wasn't important.

Nick locked eyes with Ellis and all the sarcastic, stupid, worthless comments that were running through his head disappeared. He nodded and he glanced down at Ellis' lips before looking him in the eyes again. "I...Well. Thanks."

And there it was. The guilt worth a thousand tonnes of horse shit smacked him straight in the gut. Here he was, cosying it up with the last, possible surviving member of his team when the other two were scattered over the sidewalk. He could have done something. He could have helped Coach and Rochelle but he chose not.

_Typical Nick._

Nick was the one to break the eye contact. The whole world was burning at his feet and all he could think about was how bad he felt for lying.

"Nick?"

Suddenly he remembered where he was and who was sitting less than an inch in front of him. "We should probably get some rest." Nick gave Ellis a quick smile then added, "You, mostly."

That dumb smile was back on Ellis' face in an instant. "I couldn't agree more."

**~x~x~x~x~**

 

It was one of  _those_ nights where Nick was plagued by dark thoughts and every noise got him sitting up within milliseconds. He never dreamed now but tonight was different. All he could see when he closed his eyes were Coach and Rochelle, calling his name as they were ripped apart by infected. His guilty conscience was stabbing him with every chance it got.

After probably an hour of trying to get some sleep, Nick decided to just pull up a ragged, wooden chair by the door and peer into the abyss outside. When his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he could just about see a few cars strewn over the street. There wasn't anything particularly interesting to look at. There weren't any infected, still, and nothing caught his eye.

Instead, Nick ended up staring at Ellis' sleeping form on the couch. He watched the other's chest rise and fall rhythmically. In a non-creepy, strange way, it calmed him. He felt his body begin to slack and soon he gave into the sleep he'd been craving.

Within minutes, Nick felt himself falling and he jolted awake, his head snapping in every direction as the chair underneath him creaked. It was daylight, he realized. He'd fallen asleep for a good couple of hours on the world's most uncomfortable chair and he groaned as he sat up, his back protesting through cracks and aches.

His eyes drifted over to Ellis, who was still sleeping peacefully. Some of the colour had come back into his skin rather than him being clammy and a sickly pale. Nick smirked at the kid who shifted in his sleep; he really had him worried.

Nick patted his jacket and located his packet of cigarettes. He looked inside and glared at the packet,  _one left. Shit._ Now was the right time to smoke it because he didn't know if he'd get the chance later on, so he decided it was safe enough and stepped outside, eyeing up the street before noting it as safe enough to relax and smoke.

The first drag was long and burned every part of his body, putting him in an extreme state of euphoria. He savoured the ashy taste in his mouth and the heavy feeling on his lungs as he looked up at the sky, painted with hues of red and yellow; signs of the early morning. His mind wandered back to Ellis, as usual. The thought of the other trusting him with his life when Nick had left two of his team mates to die. He'd made it clear to himself that there wasn't anything he could have done. A charger came at him.

_You could have decided to not throw the bile bomb._

_I wasn't thinking straight._

_You were._

_Shut up._

_You need to tell him the truth._

_Shut up._

_You were just angry at Coach. He deserved it._

"Fuck it." Nick said under his breath and took another long pull from his cigarette.

"Are you okay?" Ellis asked from beside him. Nick visibly jumped and almost dropped his cigarette.

"Jesus fucking christ!" He eyed up Ellis' smirk, "if the zombies don't fucking kill me, you will."

"Yer just too easy to scare." Ellis grinned.

Nick bit his tongue and inhaled sharply, "I...I need to talk to you."

"I'm all ears." The grin didn't falter from Ellis' face and Nick was seriously considering not saying anything.

He stubbed out his cigarette and nodded towards the door, gesturing for Ellis to follow him inside. When they were both inside, just the two of them, facing each other with absolutely no distractions, Nick found himself unable to even look in Ellis' direction. He needed to get a grip on himself; he felt like the most pathetic piece of shit on the earth. Finally, he got himself to look at Ellis.

"Nick, yer kind of freakin' me out."

"When…" Nick cleared his throat and looked down, unable to see the hurt in Ellis' eyes when he tells the truth. "When we were in the horde, I saw Coach go down." He then added quickly, "But there was nothing I could've done."

There were a few moments of silence before Nick decided to finally look at Ellis, who looked to be debating what to say. And what to feel.

"An' Ro?" Ellis asked finally, his voice low.

"She tried to help Coach."

"Why did you lie to me?" There was hurt in Ellis' voice and that was enough to make Nick feel overflowed with guilt.

"I didn't see the point-"

"You didn't see the point in what?" Ellis interjected, turning on Nick suddenly. His glare was hard and his jaw was set. He shoved him back harder than Nick could fathom. "Tellin' me the truth?" He shoved Nick again.

"Ellis," Nick sighed quietly.

Another shove. "Tellin' me how you left our friends for dead?"

Nick grit his teeth and grabbed Ellis' shoulders, mindful of his injured one, "stop!"

"What, what're you gonna do?" Ellis countered, "throw me into a horde and leave me there?"

That hit him harder than any bullet could. Ellis had never been angry at him; Ellis had never been angry full stop.

"There was nothing I could've done." Nick ground out.

"No, you wan'ed them gone." Ellis shook his head and pushed Nick's hands off his shoulders, "Am I next?"

" _Goddamnit Ellis,_ will you just listen to me!" Nick yelled. Anger wasn't all he was feeling but right now, yelling was better than breaking down.

"I always try to see the good in people, Nick. But you," Ellis looked at Nick with so much hurt that Nick found himself unable to breathe. "There ain't no good in you."

There was a silence that filled the air. Nick's fists were clenched so tight, he could feel his nails begin to draw blood. There was so much he wanted to say, so much he  _couldn't_ say.

"I  _am_ sorry, Ellis." Nick said slowly, releasing the breath he'd been holding. "You have to believe me."

Ellis scoffed and shook his head.

"Look," Nick pulled on Ellis' bicep, turning the other to face him fully. "Whether you like it or not, it's just the two of us now and we need to stick together."

Ellis stared at him long and hard for a moment before yanking his arm out of Nick's grip. "We better get movin' then."

Nick wished he hadn't said anything.

**~x~x~x~x~**

 

Ellis avoided all eye contact with Nick for most of the journey. Nick was telling himself that it didn't bother him, when in reality, it did. It  _really_ bothered him. He just wanted to slam the kid against the wall and say sorry over and over again until the other listened to him.

The only time Ellis spoke to Nick was when he spotted pills or ammo but that was it. Just a word or a 'ammo over here' was all Nick got from him and it was driving him insane. He fucking  _missed_ that little shit's dumb stories and jokes and his laugh.

Nick suddenly realised Ellis had stopped walking beside him. He turned around to find Ellis leaning against a wall, his breathing heavy. Nick could feel his panic begin to set in.

"Ellis?"

His reply was the kid curling over, falling to his knees and coughing blood onto the pavement.

"Shit!" Nick cursed and was beside Ellis instantly, rubbing his back soothingly. His temperature was sky high and he was shaking. Nick didn't know how he'd missed the signs.

Ellis spat onto the gravel and stood took out his water, swishing it around in his mouth before spitting it out. He stood upright, using the wall and Nick for balance and looked over to Nick briefly. His eyes were dark and Nick wondered whether it was just the lighting or...

"'M sorry for stoppin'." Ellis breathed, his voice rough.

Nick feared the worst. He looked around quickly, finding an opening to a house down the street from them. "C'mon." Nick urged, wrapping his arm around Ellis' waist and walking them down the street to the house.

Inside, there were no infected, thankfully, and a few bits of furniture spread out through the room. Nick sat Ellis against the wall and went about barricading what he could with the furniture. He was exhausted but he needed to make sure they were both safe from any lurking zombies.

Nick knelt in front of Ellis when he was done, unsure of what his next move should be. He didn't know what was going on so he didn't know how to fix it, and if he didn't know how to fix it...well…

"Ellis?" Nick said quietly. The other opened his eyes and smiled weakly.

"Sorry to disappoint." Ellis croaked.

Nick gave him a blunt look and savoured the small laugh he got in reply.

"Take these." Nick held out a pot of pills and Ellis shook his head.

"There's no point."

Nick could've easily broke down at that point. "Ellis, take the damn pills."

"I can feel myself changin', Nick."

Nick stopped breathing at those words. He swallowed hard, trying to unravel the thoughts in his head. Reality had struck him and the exact thing that he didn't want to think was now impossible to deny.

"You're gonna be fine." Nick replied. He felt stupid saying it, knowing that both of them knew damn straight Ellis wasn't going to be fine.

"I'm jus' gonna slow you down." Ellis said weakly.

He wasn't losing Ellis. Not now, not ever. The kid meant too much to him for Christ's sake; he couldn't just waltz into Nick's life, change him and then leave. No fucking way.

"I am  _not_ leaving you." Nick said firmly, placing his hands on Ellis' shoulders. "We have come too far to die now."

Ellis stared at Nick for a few moments; the silence drowning them. Nick felt his insides crumble as he watched Ellis put his head down and his shoulders started shaking. He never thought he could want to change places with someone so much. This goddamn kid had been through hell and back and he wasn't even 30 yet. He'd put on a brave front; tried to keep the group light and happy - he'd taken all of their worries on his shoulders and finally, after all that time, he'd fallen.

Nick pulled Ellis forward into an embrace, letting the other's head rest on his shoulder. He felt two shaking arms wrap around him and hold onto his suit jacket with a vice grip. Nick let his barriers drop for this kid and he soon realized he would probably do anything for him too.

"'M sorry." Ellis said quietly, his voice muffled by Nick's jacket.

Nick shook his head, "shut up, Overalls."

He rubbed a hand over Ellis' back when he felt the other smile against his shoulder. He would get them both to safety, even if it meant sacrificing himself to a damn cult.


	7. Rescue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, it's been a while! Sorry about that uwu ~

They planned to leave the house after a few hours of rest. Dusk had settled and Nick had scavenged a few blankets and cushions that he'd found around the eerily silent house. Without Ellis' dumb stories, everything just felt  _wrong_. The mood had dropped completely; Nick was pretty sure if he'd found a piece of rope, he'd have considered hanging himself.

Nick looked over at the sleeping form of Ellis, watching his chest rise and fall in ragged attempts. Goddamn, it made Nick flinch to see the pained expression on the kid's face.

He was just a kid.  _Just a fucking kid_. He shook his head and ran a hand through his hair slowly, trying not to let his shitty emotions pile up.

This shit wasn't supposed to happen. Nick didn't have much a life before the green flu broke out but he was pretty sure if he had a second chance, he'd have made his life worth living. He'd have changed for the better.

_Nah._

But Ellis. From the sounds of it, he'd had a good life. He made something of himself; he had a good reputation in Savannah and wasn't on Wanted posters in six states. He had a family, he had friends, he had  _good_ memories worth sharing with the group.

Nick shook his head again.  _Fuck._ He thought as his fingers brushed over the healing wound on his neck. He was lucky, he hadn't bled out onto the carpet. He didn't even fucking deserve to survive. What was he going to do after this? Start a new life knowing it was his fault his teammates died? Live with the guilt creeping up on him every day for the rest of his miserable, worthless life?

_Live without Ellis._

That's if they were even rescued. Nick recognised the town they were in and they were so close to New Orleans. They both just needed to get through the rest of the town. The clock was ticking; Nick didn't know how long CEDA would hold up for possible survivors or if they were even there.

He swallowed around the lump in his throat, not even allowing himself to break down. He may be pathetic but he wasn't  _that_ pathetic. This was just too much right now; he was tired and in dire need of a cigarette to calm his nerves, but there was no chance of getting one. The only thing left to do was to sleep and hope to God they weren't eaten alive.

Once Nick's head hit the pillow, he was out like a light and if infected did manage to break in and find them, he probably wouldn't even flutter an eyelid.

**~x~x~x~x~**

 

 

Moving fast deemed difficult so they stuck to back alleys; the last place the infected would go looking for a snack. Nick had a firm hold around Ellis' waist, loosening his grip every time Ellis had to stop and catch his breath.

After what felt like hours, they ran out of alleys to travel through. Nick felt the cold, hard dread spread through him when he realized their only way into New Orleans was over a bridge. A quiet bridge that was piled with cars. It was all too quiet.

Ellis pulled away from Nick and leaned against the wall of the alley, looking out towards the street that led to the bridge. His breath now came in short, irregular pants. He was in agony and all Nick could do was rub his shoulder and offer him more pills, which he refused.

"You'll need 'em more than me." Ellis mumbled out.

"You need them now." Nick argued. Ellis obviously meant when Nick will eventually leave Ellis behind to turn into one of those...things, he'll need the pills for himself. Nick set his jaw; he definitely wasn't going to leave Ellis behind.

"Nick…"

"No, we aren't moving until you take some damn pills."

Ellis sighed in pain, "Nick."

"You aren't making this any easier for me, Overalls."

"What, an' you think this is easy for me?" Ellis snapped, turning his head to look up at Nick. The dark circles under his eyes brought Nick back to reality. This wasn't a situation they'd been in before; there wasn't a handbook or an easy method to sweep this shit under the rug. What he was seeing was real. Ellis was ill. Ellis was turning and Nick had to face this sooner or later.

Nick blinked a few times, bringing himself out of his thoughts.

"Sorry." He said quietly, feeling as if a rock had slammed into his stomach. Every emotion he'd been trying to avoid was hitting him in the goddamn face at lightspeed.

Ellis let out a weak chuckle and shook his head. "You've been sayin' sorry more and more. Am I already dead?"

Nick narrowed his eyes at Ellis who smiled in return.

"I know when I'm in the wrong and I apologize for it." Nick stated, obviously lying. The  _real_ reason he'd been apologizing so much is because Ellis had changed him. Of course, he wasn't going to admit that. He had an obvious soft spot for the kid. If it were Rochelle or Coach, he would claw and bite his way to somehow prove he was right.

The real question is, why is Ellis any different?

"Listen, Nick," Ellis said after a moment of silence, stunning Nick out of his thoughts once again. "Before we get on to the bridge, I wanna say somethin'."

"If it's about you dying, I swear to god, Overalls, I'll kill you myself."

Ellis gave a breathless laugh, "I just wan'ed to say...well, thanks."

"For?"

"Not leavin' me."

Nick's brain was screaming at him to not say anything, to just nod and smile. But there was a little voice in the back of his head, urging him to let his damn, stupid heart do all the talking.

"I'm gonna be honest here, Ellis. At the beginning, you were the most childish and infuriating person I'd ever met. There were times when I wanted to pick your stupid hick ass up and throw you to the zombies myself."

_You piss me off because I don't know how I feel about you. Sometimes I want to kick you in your stupid face but sometimes I want to grab you by your shirt and kiss your stupid face. You made me into a better man and I hate you and love you for that. Fuck you, Overalls. Literally._

"Wow Nick, don't hold back on the compliments." Ellis chuckled weakly.

"But," Nick thought through his next sentence, "you're one of the only people I've ever trusted. I'm glad I met you, Ellis."

When Ellis smiled, Nick couldn't help but smile back. Something flashed in Ellis' eyes but Nick didn't catch it.

"Are we done with all this soppy shit?" Ellis asked with a playful tone. He pushed off of the wall with a painful grunt, "'cuz we gotta get across that bridge before night."

Nick regained his thoughts and wrapped an arm around Ellis' waist, letting a bruised arm grip his shoulder. This bridge could be the only thing between them and CEDA so Nick was eager to get there quickly and in one piece. Hopefully.

They made their way out into the street and both scanned the area, looking out for anything unusual. Not that you'd see anything usual in a zombie apocalypse.

Nick stopped walking when he heard a scuffle behind them. Ellis must have heard it too because he perked up, looking up at Nick worriedly. Nick shared the same expression as he turned around and saw a large, fleshy beast staring him straight in the eyes.

Nick couldn't breathe. His thoughts had stopped completely and he didn't dare let out a single breath.

"Holy shit." Ellis breathed out, his eyes widening as the Tank stared them down.

"Ellis. We need to run." Nick said quietly and calmly. Ellis nodded in reply and Nick tightened his grip around Ellis' waist. Within seconds, the two of them had turned and were running as fast as possible to the bridge.

The ground shook underneath the Tank's heavy gallops; it roared as it stormed towards them. Nick couldn't feel his legs any more, he was purely running on adrenaline and survival. His entire thought process was ' _fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck_ ' as he could feel the Tank getting closer to them.

Why he thought running was a good idea was beyond him. It should've been obvious that they couldn't outrun a Tank, not in the state they were in.

The Tank roared again and stopped running; it ripped up a piece of concrete and hurled it towards the two. Nick heard the crumbling of concrete and shoved Ellis out of the way, feeling the large chunk of pavement fly past him. The debris grazed his arm and ripped up his suit sleeve. Before, it would've bothered him, but right now, he couldn't give less of a fuck.

He frantically looked over to Ellis, who hissed in pain as he sat up. He didn't have time to ask if the other was okay before the Tank began storming over to them again, smashing cars out of its way to get to the two of them.

Nick thought quickly, looking to Ellis and then at the Tank. His ammo was low but he still took a hold of his assault rifle and started recklessly shooting at the Tank, hoping to slow it down. The shooting angered it more and it darted towards Nick, which was good because at least its attention was off Ellis now.

Then he realized how little he had thought this through. A Tank was now thundering towards him and he had no idea how to handle it.

Suddenly, his eyes met Ellis' and he set his jaw. Goddamn, he wasn't going to let this piece of shit kill that kid.  _God-fucking-damnit_.

A fleshy, rock hard arm rammed into Nick and he was knocked back into the wall of a building. He cried out in pain instinctively and his rifle flew across the ground. It was too far out of the reach and the Tank was gaining on him.

_This is actually it. This is how I die._

He waited for death to come to him. He held his arms up in front of his face, hoping it would protect him in someway. Hell, if he was going to die, he wanted to die attractive.

There was an explosion that knocked him back into the wall, causing him to smack his head against the rough brick. He felt his back hit the floor as a sharp pain spread through his entire body and head. It took him a moment to realize he wasn't dead and he opened his eyes to see a blur for a few seconds before his vision cleared and he carefully shook his head, feeling it throb violently.

His hand touched a spot on the back of his neck and he lifted his hand to his face to see blood smeared over his fingers. All of his thoughts were scattered and flying around in his head like a flock of birds.

He sat up fully, grasping the wall and using it to stand. He swayed on his feet and his hand found the wall again, his fingers straining against the rough brick. All he could hear was a loud ringing in his ears. It was definitely the blow from the explosion, except nothing was making sense to him. The only thought going through his head that made sense was 'Ellis.'

Nick's eyes scanned over the area of turned over cars and bodies trying to locate Ellis the best he could. Everything was moving in slow motion and he was starting to hear his own heartbeat. Panic rose in him when he couldn't see the kid anywhere; he tried to focus on his breathing but it deemed difficult.

His eyes then fell upon the obvious yellow t-shirt of the younger male and the panic disappeared in a heartbeat. Stumbling forward a few steps, Nick noticed that Ellis was unconscious.

"Fuck." Nick mumbled, dropping to his knees clumsily beside the other. Everything was so loud that he doubted Ellis would hear him at all. The ringing was intense, his heartbeat was thudding inside his head and there was a rush of wind suddenly.

"Ellis," He said and grabbed Ellis' face, turning it towards his, "Ellis, come on, wake up." When Ellis didn't respond, he leaned in closer, patting the kid's face. "We don't have time for this, come on, get up."

He didn't know if he was speaking loud enough, so he tried shouting but it was useless, his voice was just muffled along with everything else. Ellis wasn't waking up and he started to panic again. His forehead touched Ellis' and he found himself pleading with his eyes shut tight. "Don't fucking die on me, Overalls. Don't you fucking dare."

Suddenly a hand was on his shoulder and a body was beside his. It took him a few moments to realize that people were talking and there were figures moving around. The person was speaking to him but he couldn't hear them, his thoughts were scattered and he couldn't move.

His body was lifted and supported by somebody. He protested, not quite sure what he was saying anymore but it was something along the lines of "get the fuck off me." And "I need to stay with him."

The person supporting his body laid him down on something soft and he grimaced in pain, feeling his back tense up at the sudden contact. Not knowing what was going on was making him even more pissed off so he flipped a finger at the person standing above him before he managed out a slurred, "what the fuck?" And fell into unconsciousness.

 


End file.
